Life as a Soldier.... The SAF experience.

I really hate to talk about it, I'd really hate to blog about it. But today really justs screams out a big F U to the SAF...

Once again I was rudely awakened at 730 in the morning. Didn't help that I slept at 3 odd am in the morning and consdering how much I tossed and turned I probably slept at 4.
Stoned on my bed for a good half an hour before finally deciding it was time to go to the "COMPULSORY" breifing in camp.(which was supposed to be at 830)

I finally picked up my bike and cycled a grueling 13KM up and down the slopes of Yo Chu Kang just to arrive in the auditorium 15mins late and see the words "End of slide. The End"

What the heck... half of my department didn't even bother to come and they didn't seem to care (so much for COMPULSORY). Oh well. I was in camp for a different reason anyway. My good ole "God pa" from camp asked me to come back to do him a favour. (Some design nonsense...as usual... feeding off free stuff and services)

Our beautiful meeting after such a long time was almost instantly shattered from the moment we met.

Jerms: "Yo Sir! How've you been? So what do you want me to do for you?"

RSM: Eh your hair f*cking long leh.

Jerms: Hur? Sir I ORD in 2 weeks and I don't even have to come back leh. Today I came all the way back to do you a favour leh.

RSM: Do you know you are still under the SAF and you are recallable at anytime? Eh you go cut your hair now.

Jerms:...

RSM: Aiyah I don't wanna talk to you.. You go home cut your hair.

(Siala... is that how you ask a favour? You think I "very" wanted to come all the way to camp to do you a free service ah)

Jerms: So you want to tell me what you want to do or not. If not I really go home already.

Yahdah yahdah......
The tension was really high but in the end " God pa " always had a soft side for me.

Still I really took offence to the whole idea of I'm not supposed to be in camp in the first place. Here I am doing him a favour and there he is picking on the siliest of issues to someone whom is almost a civilian!


Retarded.

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My friends and I used to joke alot about army lingo and how 2.5 (now less than 2 even for the new enhanced batch) years of brain washing would definitely drive you nuts.

Eg.

1) A man wakes up in the morning and feels totally like sh*t. He rings up the office......
What is the first thing he'd say?

" Eh pai seh... I'm sick. Going to Attend C (military medical status that allows you to stay at home, much like an M.C.) today"

2) This is pointing out to all those who have served their time in the SAF before. Don't you realise that everytime you are refering to a room or quarters for living you'd most DEFINITELY use the words....

" So you going to your bunk later is it?"

3) This incident also happened to me quite awhile back but I might as well mention it.

Jerms: Can I have more chilli and ketchup please?
BK waitress : How many more?

"MANY MANY MORE" (hahaha that has a familiar ring to it doesn't it?)

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To top it off, here's a short and simple SMS exchange that I had with everyone's favourite manager, at the restaurant that I work in, just moments before I went to work today.

XXX (Id protection): Please get your own dinner before you come. Dinner finish.

Jerms: ok Hey thanks for the info!

XXX: I am a platoon sergeant and a GPMG (general purpose machine gun for those who don't know) Commander.

Jerms: &^$^*%$&*$^*&^% (WTF???!!!!)

(Talk about brainwashed!)
Someone please explain to me why didn't he decide to sign on into the army?

The whole irony of my SAF experience is that despite how badly it bit me and chewed me up, it gave me the chance to enter NTU Art Design and Media! (It's a long story)

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I'm sleepy. Oh well next stop, ARSENAL V.S BARCELONA in half an hour's time!

The ARMY... Something worth experiencing.... But never repeating EVER again.